To new moms. . .

There's so many things I want to say to new moms, and to the moms that are expecting again. Things are about to change, whether it's one child or multiple. It will all workout and you will be amazing.

I feel like no one can really prepare you for what motherhood is like. No videos explain it, no books. The emotions you will feel are like nothing else you could have ever imagined. One thing though, it is all worth it.

I always get people asking me how bad labor is.. and to me personally it wasn't bad at all! (Thanks to my high pain tolerance and epidural) I made sure I stayed moving, walked a bunch, drank raspberry tea the last month, and didn't watch any videos so that I didn't sike myself out. Trust yourself and you got this!

The past 2 years with Alba has been a dream. Watching your baby grow is the happiest and saddest thing ever. I'm a huge softy and I cry over anything. Anytime I see an old video of her I bawl. It's amazing to watch her grow into such a smart beautiful girl. *cue the tears* (literally pausing to cry as I type this)

Parents always say "Oh just till you wait until xxx stage", but I've learned to cherish all of the stages no matter how hard some days get.. and you will have some HARD days- but you'll get through it.. maybe with a crying session or a glass of wine but you can do it. Being a mother is the most rewarding job but also the hardest. You will be tired, you'll want to take time for yourself, you'll want to laugh a lot, and everything you can imagine.

The way I have always looked at things is, I'm blessed to be able to have a child. I'm blessed for my daughter's health. I'm happy that I'm able to watch her grow and spend quality time with her. I heard someone say one time that you need to give yourself, and your baby grace. Yes the first couple months are hard, but how can you expect yourself to know what to do right off the bat? Just because you don't have all the info right away doesn’t mean you’re a bad mother. Motherhood is literally trial and error. Have grace with your children, no matter what is my point of view. Think of it this way, yes a baby or toddler may make a huge mess or get into something.. but they've only been here in this world 6 months or 2 years. Some adults are here 25 or 50 years and still don't have things figured out. Things are always going to work out and you will learn as you go.

My experience after birth...

I knew I wanted to pump and breastfeed if possible, but Alba never really got into it (which is ok). However, I beat myself up over it because other people wanted me to and because that's what I saw all over social media. I let it affect me and I would cry and get frustrated.

I knew what PPD (postpartum depression) was, but I never knew what postpartum anxiety was. I would randomly cry from anxiety for the first 2 months after I had Alba. You see so many other moms on social media doing this or bouncing back fast and it will get to you. I remember I went into our closet just to cry alone and Daniel saw me and asked what was wrong.. but I had no idea. The thoughts of "Am I doing a good enough job" "Is she happy and okay" "Am I pumping enough" and so on would fill my head all day.

One night I woke up from a nightmare crying because I had a dream that Alba had a seizure and we didn't know what to do, plus how far the hospital was from where we used to live. I had one when I was a baby so that fear took over me.

Now that we're expecting our 2nd baby I've been thinking a lot..

I know I'll get anxiety again because that's just how I am. I know I'll feel guilty for not being able to give our 100% attention to Alba. I hope I'm able to pump for a year like I did with her.. how I know my social life will change because my babies and husband will always come before anything else. The one thing that keeps me grounded though is that I only get to see them as babies once. I’m able to be with them more than some mothers get to, and that I have a family that will always have my back plus that my husband knows when I feel mentally drained and I need help.

There's honestly so much I could say but then it would be a novel to real lol. My tips for new moms or moms again is that stock up on gripe water for the colic phase, get sleep, accept help, take time for yourself once a week even (for an hour), take showers and take care of yourself, meal prep if you can before your baby gets here, and don't compare yourself to other moms- or try not to.